The 6% ers

I just wanted to finally update this blog with a post.  It’s been a while.  We actually shut this blog down as we were both dating so much and really were busy trying to figure what works and what doesn’t to have time to stop and comment on it.

I’ve had several people ask me what I’m finding out there.  Here’s what I’ve run across so far.

Fantasy Daters – I’m guilty of this.  A lot of people have some fantasy of what ‘the one’ is supposed to be like.  Throw that shit out.  People are so awesome as they are.  Loads more fun to actually be with the person you are with rather than sit there and lament that  they aren’t what you wanted them to be.

Alcoholics/Addicts – Living in Houston, Big O & G Country, they is loadsa ALCO-HAUL!   I have avoided most of the alcoholics but a few have slipped past the radar in the guise of being ‘nice guys’.  The tip off comes when you get a midnight text or call on your cell from some guy you haven’t even been out on a date with yet that reads “I need a drink.”    It gets pretty clear at that point that a jackass has made his way into the hen house.

“I Love Women” – Uh huh.  That’s nice.  Whenever you hear a man say this, it’s a clear indication that he doesn’t understand women and he isn’t operating in reality about relationships.  This guy is usually superficial and will not be available for intimacy.  These guys are prone to making empty promises and leave you waiting around while they try to figure out how to deliver ANYTHING and when nothing comes, they are likely to make it some sort of failure on your part.  Don’t waste your time.  They never promised you a rose garden, oh wait, they did, but they didn’t mean it. ” Silly girl…  you’re just expecting too much… I love you.  Isn’t that enough…”   Oy. I don’t have time for this. 

Whiners – Again, I have been this.  These are the people who have not gotten clear of their past crap.  I understand.  I’m still not over all of mine.  I try to be honest about where I may still be ‘hung up’.  But I’m also very committed to getting beyond it.  Tho, at times it hasn’t looked like I was.  Whiners are not fun to date.  It has served me well to date these guys so I can see just how ugly it is.  I’m sorry.

Haters – They stomp on your dreams, belittle you at every opportunity.  Negate what comes out of your mouth as senseless drivel the likes of which are not fit to grace his ears or intelligence.  RUN!  These guys are usually charming assholes! (see definition of asshole below.)

Bros Before Ho’s – Lololol.  I can not tell you how bizarre it is to be dating a man who is over 40 and hear him utter these words with any amount of sincerity.   I have though, and I pondered it and pondered it and pondered it.  Where do I fit into your world, if your relationship operating plan includes a ‘Bros before Ho’s’ qualifier?  I looked and looked and looked for where I would fit in and I tested the system with full integrity, and no matter how I approached that caveat, all I came up with is:  This man doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman.  He is some combination of Fantasy Dater, Whiner and Hater.  He, in reality, only really wants to hang out on the couch with his friends.  The women in their lives are incidental and not real people to these guys.  So, guess what fine peeps, she’s always gonna cheat or leave because she doesn’t matter to him anyway.  His buds do.  I don’t want to date  a nine year old boy.  OK.  Maybe the sweet side of a nine year old boy.  But not the part that still thinks that girls are stupid.  Because, frankly, I’m not.

***** The 6% er’s ***** – It’s my personal theory that the single male market is 90% asshole, 4% whiner and 6% very very eligible.  These 6% ers are the guys you are looking for.  They are not assholes (self centered, self serving and self agrandizing) nor whiners, tho, every human has his/her asshole/whiner moments.  They are functional with flaws, fun and still functional, capable of kindness, enjoy their life and want to know that you enjoy yours.  They are generally interested in what you enjoy for their enjoyment and because your Joy, honestly, is a happy moment for them.  These guys are rare, but not that rare.  The trick is, You have to be a 6% er as well, or at least want to be.   Meaning,  you gotta learn to be about somebody other than you.

I’ve had a lot of fun dating.  And am currently dating 4 different men  (not easy).  It puts me in a position of not knowing what the hell I’m doing.  It eliminates my ability to manipulate, because I can never remember who has which version of me anyway.  They are all great guys and I don’t get caught up in their stuff because I couldn’t possibly keep it straight.   I don’t know how this will work out or even if it’s a good or bad idea.  It’s just what I’m doing!  Lol.  But, dating more than one man helps me stay clear about what’s important to me.  I just enjoy them, trust them, learn from them and keep putting good stuff in.  Lol.  Wish me luck and them too!